An Alternative to HOPE


I have been known to say, “I hate hope” but I don’t believe that is 100% correct. I don’t exactly HATE hope but I certainly don’t trust it. Hope has knocked me down, smashed my dreams, and otherwise messed up my perfectly planned life

Yes, I’m a life coach. So right about now you are probably thinking this blog is going to be full of BS about how you don’t HOPE for anything but you PREPARE and WORK hard which is certainly the life coachy thing to say. But it isn’t about that AT ALL.

DISCLAIMER: I’m not really writing this for any specific reason except to explain myself a little better. After all, if you are considering hiring a life coach, I think its important to learn a little about whom they are as a human.

First of all, I began to think about the word “hope” when I was trail running with a few friends last week. As we were falling into icy puddles of water, I heard myself say, “I hope it will be better running on Saturday.” I cringed a little inside because of my own personal war with this word. So, I decided to “think a little harder” about it, as I am inclined to say to my clients.

I decided that hope is acceptable for relatively superficial things that really don’t have much emotional impact for me. I hope for good weather, a good run, the energy to clean… that kind of stuff.

I feel that to HOPE for anything substantial is akin to setting myself up for disappointment.

And if there is one thing I dislike more than the word Hope… its disappointment.

I can totally see how HOPE can be viewed within a religious context. Although I am a very spiritual person, I don’t connect with any specific organized religion (the Catholic church kind of ruined that for me… for now anyway). I mean, we HOPE and PRAY for big important things like cures for diseases, safely for our families,.. you know, BIG STUFF like that.

THAT’S where I have the problem with “hope.” We can only WORK and PREPARE so much… and we can only PRAY so hard for something, before reality smacks us in the face and we are left to just DEAL with the crap that life sometimes gives us.

And, YES, life gives really really good people horrible situations.

As a former trauma therapist, I personally know many GOOD people who have prayed hard and worked diligently and still got their asses handed to them. You will also never hear me say, “God gives you what you can handle” because that is a slap in the face to anyone who has known someone who has committed suicide.

For these BIG TICKET situations, I will work hard and pray but I will not Hope.

So, this is what I decided to do…

I will COUNT on my strength and ability to learn the valuable life lesson that I am given and I will COMMIT to working diligently towards self-growth and understanding throughout my life.

Let’s think about that a little harder….

I am going to COUNT ON MYSELF to LEARN, GROW, and UNDERSTAND lifes lessons… which is an incredibly empowering thought! I CAN do this life-thing even when its difficult! My personal spiritual belief is that I will never be alone in this journey and yours may be similar (or not). I am capable of making the right choices for myself or learning from my mistakes.

Join me in our journey towards self-discovery and understanding! I am here to help you if you need some guidance. Come in for a free 30-minute consultation and I will make us some tea and we can talk about your goals.

….until then, let’s just hope for no more snow.

Most of my clients come from personal referrals or from reading my blogs. Would you mind sharing this article?



Twin Cities Life Coaching is passionate about self-care. If we don't take care of ourselves first, how do we expect to care well for others in our lives?

Think of the oxygen mask in an airplane. The instructions given to you before taking flight insist that if there is a change in cabin pressure, we are to put on our own mask BEFORE we assist others with theirs.

Our hectic, over-scheduled, over-worked lives push us to meet everyone else's needs and deadlines before our own. We have it backwards and need to take an airplane oxygen mask approach instead.

Take care of yourself first, and the rest will follow.

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