How to live authentically YOU!
A long time ago, I was stuck in a really dark place with a really big problem. I wanted help but never allowed anyone see the real me. I was too busy attempting to fake perfection. Well, not exactly perfection, but I certainly didn’t want anyone to see my specific brand of crazy. I was full of insecurities and feelings of being completely broken and entirely unfixable. I KNOW I am not alone. Maybe you can relate?
Why is it so difficult to allow people to see the broken parts of us?.
When we hide these vulnerable parts of ourselves, instead of living an authentic life, we end up living a lie… an artificial life where we keep help at arms length because of fear. We are afraid that people will desert us if they knew our true broken self. That’s a very lonely place to be.
How do we begin to step into our TRUTH and live an AUTHENTIC and CONGRUENT life?
- Self-Acceptance: Being human isn’t easy. We are all full of mistakes just waiting to happen. Being able to accept YOURSELF (flaws and all) is vital to living an authentic life. If you wait for others to accept your flaws, or you attempt to never make a mistake, you will be waiting for a very long time. Make peace with your humanity. Mistakes are part of being human.
- Acceptance of others: If we attempt to accept ourselves with our imperfections, then we’d better extend that courtesy to others! Accepting others means to accept them completely… flaws and all. Avoid judgment. Understand we are all in the same small boat attempting to navigate this challenge we call LIFE. You don’t need to accept the persons ACTION; you only need to accept the PERSON as an inherently flawed human (as we all are).
- Truth: The reality vs. the wish: Only YOU need to understand your truth to live authentically. Only you fully understand your reactions, motivations, and complete experience, which is your REALITY. Make sure to take the necessary time to completely comprehend it. There will always be others who will be quick to judge you. Strengthen your boundaries and understand that their judgments are none of your concern. We may WISH for others to understand our truth but that is not their job… it is only ours.
- Forgiveness: Forgiveness comes from love. In order to forgive yourself, you need to be able to LOVE your entirely human self. Self-forgiveness is hard. For others, especially those who have harmed us, hanging on to resentment and anger will only hurt ourselves. We don’t deserve to be punished anymore, right?
Stepping into your truth and living authentically takes time, courage, and practice. This is especially true if you are heavily guarded against the judgment of others. For myself, I was eventually able to muster the courage to speak of my brokenness to a friend. When I wasn’t rejected, I told another friend.
I’d love to say that, in time, everyone unconditionally accepted me. But it didn’t turn out that way. You know what I realized? The rejection I experienced actually had more to do with THEM than it had to do with ME. Their reactions are a part of their journey, not mine. On a positive note, I now know who genuinely loves the perfectly imperfect me! This is a true gift!
My hope is that we all take a risk and share a little of our challenges with others. If we open up about our challenges, it gives others permission to do the same. Wouldn’t it be nice to know you are not alone? Find a friend, family member, or trusted coach. Take the first step in YOUR journey to stepping into your truth and living authentically. I believe you are worth it. Don’t you?
If you would like help navigating the journey towards authenticity, please let me know. I would feel privileged to travel this road with you. Send me an email anytime! After all, we are all on this journey together…. Let’s love and help one another, shall we?
Most of my clients come from personal referrals or from reading my blogs. Would you mind sharing?