I Forgot About Myself
(And Maybe You Did Too)
I don’t know the exact moment it happened.
There wasn’t a dramatic turning point. No big conflict.
Just a slow and steady shifting of energy…
From me to everything and everyone else.
Little by little, I stopped checking in with myself. Not because I didn’t care—but because life got busy. Between work, family, caregiving, and the hundreds of invisible tasks that pile up day after day, my own needs were quietly placed on a shelf.
At first, I told myself it was just temporary—a small sacrifice until I could “catch up”. But it wasn’t, and I never did. Days turned into weeks, and those needs sat on the shelf, untouched, gathering dust.
I didn’t forget because I was uninterested.
I forgot because I was busy surviving.
The Disappearing Woman
It happens to so many women, especially in midlife. We become experts at managing chaos—coordinating schedules, solving problems, and keeping everyone else afloat. We never meant to abandon ourselves. We’re just busy, in the background, holding everything together.
But eventually, something starts to crack.
You feel invisible. Disconnected. Like your inner sparkle packed up and left, and your motivation followed closely behind.
You start to feel tired, exhausted, regardless of how much you rest. You notice that happiness feels like a memory instead of a regular occurrence. And you can’t remember the last time you did something simply because YOU wanted to (without the hassle of organizing all of the tasks when you’d be gone).
You’re not falling apart. You’re running on empty.
And that deep exhaustion? It’s not failure. It’s a signal that something needs to change.
The Subtle Signs of Self-Neglect
It’s easy to miss the signs, especially when we’re busy.
But they show up in sneaky ways:
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You feel more irritable and emotionally drained
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You stop making plans beyond the next task or obligation
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Your inner voice sounds more critical than kind (mine is SO GOOD at guilt trips)
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You fantasize about alone time… like, a lot
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You can’t remember the last time you did something just because it brought you joy
And when you finally do have a moment to yourself, it’s not relaxing—it’s filled with guilt. You sit down, and instead of peace, your brain starts firing off reminders: You should be cleaning. You should be working. You should be doing more.
And then there’s the resentment.
Not because you don’t love the people in your life—of course you do.
But because you’ve abandoned you to take care of them. And no matter how much love you give, you need something more to refill your own cup.
You Deserve to Be on Your Own List
Somewhere along the way, we internalized the idea that we have to earn our worth. That being a “good” mom, partner, daughter, or employee means sacrificing ourselves at all costs.
But here’s the truth: you can’t give what you don’t have.
You can’t show up fully for others if you’re constantly running on fumes.
You don’t have to disappear to prove your love or loyalty.
The journey back to yourself doesn’t require a complete life overhaul. It starts with noticing what you need—and honoring it, even in small ways.
Two Small Ways to Begin Again
- Carve out a protected space for yourself each day—even just 10 minutes. Put it on your calendar like you would a meeting or appointment. During that time, don’t answer emails or fold laundry. You can read, stretch, sip coffee by the window, or simply breathe. It’s not about productivity—it’s about presence.
- Listen to how you talk to yourself—and soften it. If your inner voice is constantly saying, “You’re not doing enough,” gently challenge that. Try saying, “I’m doing the best I can. And I’m allowed to take care of me, too.” Self-talk matters more than we realize. It shapes what we believe we’re worthy of.
If You’ve Lost Touch with Yourself, You’re Not Alone
Feeling as if you have lost your spark is something I hear from women all the time. And it’s exactly why I created my Back on Track course.
It’s a gentle, self-paced program designed for women who are ready to reclaim their lives without guilt or resentment. You’ll learn how to build habits that get you back on track again.
And you’ll finally take that box off the shelf, dust it off, and make space for your needs right back in the center of your life—where they belong.
You don’t have to wait for a breakdown to make a breakthrough.
You can start small. Start today. Start with you.
👉 Learn more about Back on Track.
You Haven’t Disappeared—You’ve Just Been Too Busy to Look
You’re still in there. Beneath the obligations, the caretaking, the endless expectations. You haven’t lost your value or your voice- you’ve just temporarily turned down the volume. But now? You can turn it back up. You can remember who you are.
And you don’t have to do it alone. We can walk this path together. 💛
With love,
Linda
